Affinity Eats Capacity for Breakfast: The Fundraiser’s Guide to Transformational Giving

When it comes to major gift fundraising, one mantra reigns supreme: Affinity eats capacity for breakfast. While financial capacity is undoubtedly an important factor, it’s the emotional connection—the belief in your mission and the relationship built over time—that drives transformational giving. Without affinity, capacity alone cannot translate into meaningful support.

But first, let's review the A-B-Cs of major donor qualification: Access, Belief, and Capacity.

• Access is the ability to connect with a prospective donor and engage them in meaningful conversations. Do we have the means to be in touch with them, or their family office, or a way into their inner circle?

• Belief is the values and/ or emotional alignment with and commitment to the impact of your nonprofit's mission. 

• Capacity is the total wealth or resources of a person. There are a variety of means to measure that, but we may not always know the true capacity of any given person. 

Affinity is a combination of Belief and Access. Together they create the foundation for deep, transformational relationships that lead to major gifts. Capacity, on the other hand, represents a donor’s financial resources. While important, capacity is meaningless without a strong sense of affinity.

Common Mistakes in Focusing Too Much on Capacity

Chasing Wealth Without a Plan

It’s tempting to focus on people with capacity and to assume that, with enough effort, they’ll eventually make a big gift. However, without affinity, these efforts often lead to frustration. For example:

A nonprofit spends months pursuing a high-net-worth individual based on a wealth screening. They finally secure a meeting, only to find out that the prospect’s philanthropic priorities lie entirely elsewhere.

Pro-Tip: Start by understanding a prospect’s values and their connection to your mission before investing significant time and energy.

Overlooking Current Donors

A common mistake is assuming that a donor’s current giving level reflects their capacity. Consider this real-life scenario:

Working with a client who was a half-time fundraiser at a private girls school, we instituted thank you calls to every donor posing a simple question in conversation. A loyal $1,000 donor receives a first-time thank you call. During the follow-up conversation, the alumna shares how important one of the school's programs was to her and expresses interest in doing more - and wants to make a $100,000 gift this month.

Pro-Tip: Treat every donor as a potential major gift prospect. Their current giving level may not (yet!) reflect their capacity, but their belief in your mission is a strong indicator of potential.

Misinterpreting Wealth Screening Data

Wealth screening tools can provide valuable insights, but they’re not the full picture. For example:

A nonprofit identifies a high-capacity individual through wealth screening and begins outreach efforts. However, the nonprofit knows little about the person and the individual’s wealth is tied up in illiquid assets, and they’re not in a position to give. Meanwhile, a mid-level donor with a deep passion for the mission remains overlooked.

Pro-Tip: Wealth screening is a tool, not a shortcut. Pair it with discovery calls and relationship building to prioritize prospects effectively.

Ignoring “Quiet Champions”

A long-time $250 donor who gives consistently every year might not appear on your radar as a major gift prospect. Yet, these donors often have the deepest affinity. One example:

An older donor on a fixed income gives modestly for decades. After their passing, the nonprofit learns they left their entire estate — valued at $2.5 million — as a bequest.

Pro-Tip: Consistency often signals strong belief in your mission. Don’t automatically overlook donors just because their giving is modest.

How You Can Prioritize Affinity

1. Look Beyond the Numbers

Don’t let wealth ratings dictate your entire strategy. Engage with donors to understand their motivations, values, and passions. Discovery conversations can reveal affinity that wealth screening tools cannot.

2. Build Genuine Relationships

Affinity is discovered through meaningful engagement and grows through trust. Offer opportunities for connection share stories that align with the donor’s interests, and invite them to participate (in events, volunteer opportunities or small-group conversations).

3. Use a 2D Model: Capacity vs. Affinity

Plot your donor base on a two-dimensional matrix:

• Y-Axis: Capacity (Low to High)

• X-Axis: Affinity (Low to High)

High-affinity, high-capacity donors are your sweet spot - and likely are the supporters you already know. High-affinity, low-capacity donors are those you may wish to invest more discovery and engagement efforts in and may already be champions who inspire others.

4. Follow Up Thoughtfully

Whether a donor attends an event, declines an invitation, or makes a modest gift, follow up to deepen the relationship. Show genuine interest in their experience and provide a clear path for next steps.

Why Affinity Always Wins

Capacity might open your eyes to possibility, but affinity closes gifts. Meaningful conversations that touch on a donor's values, interests, and connection to their nonprofit's impact are more likely to move engage the donor deeply. When you focus on building belief and connection, you unlock not just wealth, but also the emotional commitment that leads to long-term support.

So, as you plan your major gift strategy for 2025 and beyond, remember: Affinity eats capacity for breakfast.

Prioritize relationships, and the dollars will follow.