Build Donor Connection That Lasts: Start Strong:

Build Connection: The First Step in Securing Transformational Gifts

Welcome to my B.R.I.D.G.E. blog series, a six-part guide for building stronger, more sustainable donor relationships. Each post explores one part of the B.R.I.D.G.E. Framework, my connection-based approach to major gift fundraising:

Build Connection
Rapport – Establish or Reestablish
Invite to Action
Deepen the Trust
Guide the Conversation
Extend the Relationship

Whether you're a major gift officer, are managing an MGO team, or are the Executive Director, this series will help you foster deeper trust, make values-aligned Asks, and navigate donor conversations with confidence – even (or especially) in uncertain times.

In today’s landscape, with economic uncertainty causing some donors to hesitate or take more time for considering larger major gifts, building connection isn’t simply a “warm fuzzy.” It’s actually your strategic advantage. When donors feel valued, know their giving makes an impact, and are connected to the cause, they’re more likely to stay engaged.

Let’s begin at the beginning: Build Connection.

Why "Build Connection" Comes First

Before there’s an Ask, before there’s a first gift, there must be trust. And before there’s trust, there must be connection. The connection may be a values alignment with the mission, it may mean that they’ve experienced something positive (been a patient, attended a performance, helped build a school), or may have had a meaningful interaction with someone from your nonprofit.

In short, a human-to-human connection.

This doesn’t mean simply saying "Hello!" at an event or sending an email update twice a year. Building connection means making space for mutual curiosity and discovering shared values. With major gift fundraising, it’s about understanding the person, not just knowing their giving history.

When you lead with connection, you give the donor something rare: authentic attention.

A Practical Example

A client I coached, from a small Catholic Girl’s High School, had great success when I suggested she change how she call donors to thank them. Previously, she called donors giving $1,000+ in the local area. It was a typical, “Thank you so much for your support.”

I suggested that when she called (or left a message) for all donors or alumnae that she add, “By the way, which of our school’s four values, Honor, Respect, Dignity, Compassion, are you leaning into more this year?”

This slight tweak ended up being a game changer. More conversations happened with supporters. More alumni called back to share. And best of all, it lead to a call from a steady $1,000 per year alumna to offer a gift of $100,000. Which then has become a annual gift to the school. This change was the difference between a simple thank you and offering an opportunity to make a connection to a formative time in their lives. It became an opportunity to create a stronger relationship.

What Gets in the Way of Connection?

In unsettled times, it’s tempting to only focus on metrics: number of meetings, dollars raised, goals hit. And those are important to measuring progress. But connection doesn’t happen on a spreadsheet. It happens in conversation. When listening. When opening space for curiosity about the donor or prospect.

The pressure to perform or “surpass the goal” can make major gift fundraisers speed past the very moments that build lasting trust.

Connection takes time -- but it’s also the thing that makes all the rest possible.

Two Actions You Can Take This Month to Build Connection

Make Thank-You Calls to New or Lower-Level Donors

Did you know that 47% of major gift donors made a first gift of $500 or less? BuildGood shared these stats from their recent research of 14 Canadian charities in international development. In addition, my colleague Eli Jordfald, says that in her organization, they’ve found that between 80% and 90% of their major gift donors had a first-time gift of $500 or less.

That means the next transformational donor in your portfolio might have just given for the first time modestly and with little fanfare. Don’t wait until they “prove” themselves to be major or transformational donors. Pick up the phone and thank them. Not with a script, but with sincerity. And be ready to open a connection. (You may instead send an email or note, if that is the method of connection you have.)

You might say:

• “I just saw your recent gift come through, and I wanted to thank you personally.”
• “We’re grateful you chose to support this work. May I ask what inspired your gift?”

That simple connection point can be the start of something much bigger.

Replace “Check-Ins” with “Connection Points”

Look at your calendar. How many donor meetings, calls, or emails have you noted as a “Check-In” or “Touch Base”? Change the language. Try “Connect with ___” or “Learn more about ___’s story.” This subtle shift helps you show up with a different energy: prepared to invite connection, not just make contact.

The Upshot

Building connection isn’t about being charming or persuasive. It’s about presence. It’s about genuinely wanting to know the donor. And not just their capacity to give, but their reasons for giving. You want to make every opportunity count.

When you lead with connection, you become more than a fundraiser. You become a partner with a purpose.

And that’s when transformational giving begins.

 

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This is Part 1 of the B.R.I.D.G.E. series
Next up: Establishing Rapport -- what it really means to meet your donor where they are.

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Want to build strong donor relationships—where they continue to give in good times and challenging times?
Let’s discover about how I can help you and your team sharpen your major gift strategy. Let's find a time to talk about what you need!