Think Like a Donor and Raise More Major Gifts

One of the biggest challenges we face as major gift fundraisers is balancing two distinct ways of thinking: our internal, metrics-driven mindset versus the donor-focused approach that builds relationships.

In the office, we're measured by revenue, the number of donors engaged, meetings booked, and Asks made (and successfully closed!). These are essential benchmarks, but when we sit down with donors, they’re not thinking in those terms. Donors aren’t motivated by spreadsheets or solicitation deadlines, rather they give because they want to make an impact, align with their values, or solve a problem they care deeply about.

The most successful fundraisers understand that thinking like a donor is key to closing transformational gifts. Here are seven shifts in mindset and strategy that can help you build stronger relationships, avoid common fundraising missteps, and ultimately raise more major gifts.

1. Dollars vs. Impact: Shift the Conversation to Outcomes

The Fundraiser Mindset:

"We need to close this $50,000 gift to hit our Q1 goal."

The Donor Mindset:

"How can I help ensure this program continues to serve people in need?"

Fundraisers often walk into donor meetings thinking about the amount of the prospective gift. But donors give because they care about impact. They want to solve a problem, prevent a crisis, or fuel a vision.

💡 Shift Your Approach: Instead of fixating on the dollar amount, guide the conversation toward the results their gift will achieve. Ask questions like, "What kind of impact would you like to see?" or "What part of our mission resonates most with you?" When donors feel like partners in the process, they’re more invested... and often, they’ll give more than you may have expected.

2. Don’t Assume: Ask About Their Values and Interests

The Fundraiser Mindset:

"The donor gave to X program last year, so that must be what they care about most."

The Donor Mindset:

"My interests evolve, and I appreciate when fundraisers take the time to ask what excites me now."

Many fundraisers rely on past meeting notes and giving history to guide donor conversations. While historical data is helpful, it doesn’t account for how a donor’s interests, financial situation, or motivations might change over time.

💡 Shift Your Approach: Instead of assuming you know what matters to a donor, create space for discovery. Ask open-ended questions like:

• “What’s inspiring you most these days?”
• “What impact do you want to make with your philanthropy?”
• “Has anything changed in your giving priorities?”

This keeps the conversation fresh and ensures you’re aligning with their evolving interests.

3. Expand the Conversation Beyond One Funding Area

The Fundraiser Mindset:

"They're interested in supporting X program, so I don’t want to bring up anything else."

The Donor Mindset:

"I’d love to hear how my giving could make a bigger difference across the organization."

A donor may initially express interest in a specific program, but that doesn’t mean their giving must be confined to it. I’ve seen donors give significantly more when invited to think holistically about their impact.

💡 Shift Your Approach: Instead of assuming a donor’s interest is narrow, gently explore the broader mission. Ask, "Have you ever considered how your support could create an even greater impact across our work?" or "Would you be open to learning about additional opportunities?"

Many donors want to see the bigger picture. It’s our job to help them do that.

4. Stewardship is Important and Part of Your Job — Not Just Another Department’s

The Fundraiser Mindset:

"The donor made their gift—stewardship is the next team’s responsibility."

The Donor Mindset:

"I just made a meaningful commitment—why haven’t I heard from them personally?"

Donors want to feel valued beyond the transaction. A friend once told me, "I was so excited to make my multi-year pledge. But after that, I only received generic updates. Now my payments feel like a chore instead of something I’m proud to do."

💡 Shift Your Approach: Take ownership of post-gift stewardship. Call the donor the next day to thank them personally, share an update, and ask if they have any questions. Arrange for leadership (e.g. your CEO, board chair, or program director) to send a personal note. Stewardship isn’t just a task to check off; it’s an ongoing opportunity to reinforce trust. And it can be the start of the conversation to the next gift. 

5. Don’t Underestimate a Board or Committee Member’s Giving Potential

The Fundraiser Mindset:

"We should focus on securing gifts from bigger prospects first. Committee members will contribute eventually."

The Donor Mindset:

"I’m deeply involved in the organization, why haven't they asked me to give yet?"

One of the biggest fundraising missteps is assuming that board or committee members aren’t major gift prospects, or even transformational gift prospect. A longtime donor once told me, "I felt diminished when I wasn’t approached early in the campaign. It made me feel like my past contributions and volunteer hours didn’t matter."

💡 Shift Your Approach: Treat leadership donors like the insiders they are. Make it clear that they have the honor of being among the first invited to support a campaign. This signals that their involvement is valued, not just their dollars.

6. Keep Legacy Donors and Past Leaders Engaged

The Fundraiser Mindset:

"We need to prioritize new prospects."

The Donor Mindset:

"After decades of support, I feel like I’ve been forgotten."

I’ve seen organizations make the mistake of chasing new donors while unintentionally neglecting longtime supporters (especially those who have stepped away from their careers or retired). A donor who helped found a major initiative once told me, "The current board chair has never spoken to me. I received the same generic letter as everyone else. It’s as if I don’t matter anymore."

💡 Shift Your Approach: Keep past leaders and long-time donors engaged. Recognize their history with the organization and involve them in meaningful ways. Ask for their insights, invite them to special briefings, or simply acknowledge their contributions in a personal way.

7. Major Gifts Require Ongoing Relationship Building, Not Just an Annual Ask

The Fundraiser Mindset:

"I’ll reach out a few weeks before I need to ask for their next gift."

The Donor Mindset:

"I want to feel connected year-round, not just when you need money."

Donors are more likely to give (and give more) when they feel consistently engaged. Waiting until just before a campaign to reconnect makes giving feel transactional, not relational.

💡 Shift Your Approach: Set aside time every week to check in with top donors—without an ask. Call to share a quick update, invite them to an event, or simply say thank you. Treating donors as long-term partners leads to deeper investment in your mission.

Final Thoughts: Think Like a Donor to Raise More Major (and Transformational) Gifts

The best fundraisers don’t just think like fundraisers, they think like donors. By shifting our conversations from dollars to impact, avoiding assumptions, and making stewardship a priority, we build the kind of trust and connection that leads to transformational giving.

Ready to deepen your donor relationships? Start by asking yourself before every interaction: Am I thinking like a fundraiser—or like a donor?